Customer Lifetime Value Like a Zombie Hunter: Build a #ZombieProof Google Sheets Dashboard

Ever feel like you're chasing customers in the dark—throwing ad dollars around and hoping someone sticks? What if you could see exactly which customers are worth your time (and money) and which ones are just passing through like a horde of one-time buyers?

If you’re in e-commerce, SaaS, or running a digital agency, mastering Customer Lifetime Value (CLTV) is your survival kit. In this post, you'll learn how to build a #ZombieEasy Google Sheets dashboard that helps you track, analyze, and optimize for CLTV, so you can stop guessing and start growing.

How To Build A Customer Lifetime Value (CLV) Google Sheets Dashboard Video

What Is Customer Lifetime Value (and Why It’s a Lifesaver)

Customer Lifetime Value (CLTV) is the total revenue a business can expect from a single customer throughout their relationship with your brand. It's not just the first sale that counts—it’s every repeat purchase, upsell, and referral that follows.

Think of it like this: you want your customer’s value to rise from a one-time snack to a full-course feast. CLTV helps you:

• Balance what you spend to acquire customers with what they bring in over time

• Identify your MVPs (Most Valuable Patrons)

• Make smarter marketing and retention decisions

💀 #ZombieTip: If your CLTV isn’t significantly higher than your Customer Acquisition Cost (CAC), your business might be headed for a financial apocalypse.

Key Benefits of Tracking CLTV in Google Sheets

A good CLTV dashboard isn’t just pretty—it’s powerful. Here’s what it helps you do

Spot Your Top 10 Customers - Instantly see who’s driving the most revenue and who keeps coming back for more.

Optimize Your Retargeting Campaigns - Focus your ad spend on high-value customers using custom audiences in Facebook, Google, and more.

Measure Repeat Loyalty - Know how many of your customers come back and how much they’re worth over time.

Compare CAC to CLTV - Quickly assess if your marketing spend is paying off—or bleeding you dry.

Building Your #ZombieProof CLTV Dashboard in Google Sheets

This isn’t brain surgery (even if zombies love brains). With Google Sheets, you can whip up a powerful, automated dashboard using just three core data points: date, customer ID, and spend.

You’ll use simple but powerful functions like:

• COUNTUNIQUE() – to tally your total customer base

• QUERY() – for flexible filtering and summary stats

• Array formulas – to calculate running totals and segment your best customers

No complex tools. Just smart formulas.

Dashboard Highlights (Yes, We Made It Fun)

Here's what’s inside:

CLTV Overview Metrics - Total customers, average CLTV, and repeat buyer percentages

Top 10 Customers - Ranked by revenue and by visit count

Pareto Chart - A visual showing the 80/20 rule in action (aka: the few who bring the most revenue)